I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
