Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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