You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
