I smell stomach acid.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
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