Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
