Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
