RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
This house was built for laser tag.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
