her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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