i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
