whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize