i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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