Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
