I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
