why didn't you poke me back
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize