Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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