so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
