I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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