Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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