I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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