im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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