I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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