my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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