Pants 0. Shit 1.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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