you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
