You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
