wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
