I wanna bring you to show and tell
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
