yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My bed smells like the plague
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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