if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
