I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
