I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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