fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize