So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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