She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My hand turned me down
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
