I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize