You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
