i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
