My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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