things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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