ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
