this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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