maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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