This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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