You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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