let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
