And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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