i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
