i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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