U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
