I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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