If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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