butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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