How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
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