meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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