Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
