Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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