Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
