You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
