Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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