i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
