What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
