We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
