they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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