I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
