I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
