I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
