so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
