i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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