i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
