Your tits are I can't wait for
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
