And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
