My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
