She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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