he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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