I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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