Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
The beer is more important than you right now.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize