I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
