doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
