I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We are two peas in an std pod
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize