are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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