her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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