he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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