He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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