the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
